Friday, 28 November 2014

Yunnan Gran Fondo

The Yunnan Gran Fondo
China 16 – 22 November 2014

Colourful Yunnan Gran Fondo to give it its full name is a five stage tour of Yunnan province, starting in the city of Kunming and ending in Lijiang. Hotels and bus transfers between stages are all part of the deal, organised by Nicholas Hellquist of Nordic Ways. There was no more than 12-15 laowei (look it up) out of 240 entrants for the 5 day event with a total of over 2,000 people taking part in the event overall including day riders. The whole event is at high altitude, with elevations ranging from 1,600 to 3,200m. Plus every stage takes place on closed roads. Which I could get used to.

Stage 1: Kunming. 114km around Lake Dian.  My attempt on the over 50 category GC podium got off to a bad start: The written instructions said that there would be a pace car to guide riders the 10km from the hotel to the start line. The start time was at 08.30 and so I waited outside the hotel at 07.30 for the advertised guidance. A steady stream of riders left the hotel and headed up the road, but I waited. Time went by. Eventually I spotted one the local organisers, and I asked him when I could expect the pace car. The answer was that there wasn’t one. Not the answer I was looking for, and it meant that I arrived at the start line 20 minutes late, followed by a long solo effort of trying to catch the groupetto by chasing into a head wind. Which was never going to happen, although I crucified myself trying. GC hopes over before the race even started. Hey ho, nothing left to do but to enjoy the ride day by day.

Stage 2: Yuxi. 181km around Lake Fuxian, the largest freshwater lake in China (or maybe it's the one at Dali… whatever). I got this one right, at the start line in good time. The gun went and it was a flat out sprint for the first 5km. This did what was intended and the race rapidly shook out into 3 ability based peletons. This was a pattern that repeated itself all week. As was the same half-dozen riders on the front who did all the work. Yours truly included natch.

Stage 3: Chuxiong. A 24km Individual mountain time trial aka Ride up a big hill as fast as you can. Simples. Got to the top at 2,400m in 59 minutes and then spent 15 minutes coughing Shanghai out of my lungs.

Stage 4: Dali. The start line was at 2,000m and it was 0 to redline (again) right from the gun for a circuit of Lake Er Hai, the largest freshwater lake in China, unless it was the other one. The familiar routine of the 3 peletons established itself, and it was a long head wind haul back the finish line in the town of old Dali. 1km to go, and all of the wheel suckers came miraculously back to life and started jockeying for position. The whole peleton was heading into what I thought was a 90 degree bend before the final straight at an adrenaline-fulled rate of knots, when it turned out that the 90 degree bend was actually 180 degrees. Cue carnage. My mountain bike skills kicked in, I hugged the inside line and was third in the sprint to the finish. Proper racing, great stuff.

Stage 5: Lijiang 85km. The start line was in the old town. Very atmospheric with a mix of numerous ethnic minorities doing their traditional dances. Most dramatic was a group of mountain man drummers clad in what looked like leopard skin hats and polar bear cloaks. The first couple of hundred metres was a road surface of large, rough pave. Uphill natch, added together meant that the sprint from the gun splintered the starting mob rapidly. The course was two laps of the town, which included a nice big hill which wound up through some outlying villages, before heading up to the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain pass at 3,000m. A peleton of 30 or so riders formed and by now I could see many familiar faces, including of course the usual half dozen big-hearts who rotating at the front driving the pace. Big-hearted or dumb? You choose. The peleton disintegrated the second time up village hill and then it was every man for himself. I found a manageable gear and churned it, and re-discovered the thin air “blow and recover” grunt breathing low oxygen management method from my army diver training. It seemed to work and I passed a steady stream of riders before reaching the finish line at 3,400m. And then it was over, with lots of hugs and smiles among the pace making elite. A fast downhill run back into town to the local sports stadium for prize giving plus an impressive gratis banquet provided by the town followed and the all that was left to do was to manage the massive comedown after a fantastic week of great racing, superb scenery and good comradeship. And who knows, somewhere in a parallel universe, I did make the start of stage 1 on time and the Podium for the GC. But, as they say in France if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

David Clark

Monday, 13 October 2014

Homeland

Bothering me since August this has been. So I'm back in Blighty for the summer sojourn. A week to go till the big silver bird back to the PRC and I'm doing some pre-winter chores about the house. First up is jetwash the mouldy flags. I'm half an hour in to the job, brain completely wiped by the noise and the repetition of side to side swooshing when No.1 son creeps up from behind and shouts "YAH!". I go into a crouch, bring the "weapon" to the shoulder and JUST stop myself from giving him the ol' double tap. It's still fucking there. After all this time. No.1 son of course thinks it's highly risible that the old man has flashbacked back to the day, but a full blast from a Karcher a foot away would have had him laughing on the other side of his face. Like really.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Ground rush

ETA to China = 7 days. Lotsa stuff still to do, mostly bullshit admin plus all those things I'd been putting off. Up to now the move to China has been something that existing in the murky mists of future time, well outside my little brain's capacity to comprehend. But now it's 7 days. I can count em...
It feels like parachuting - you hang around in a an indeterminate space for an unknown amount of time and then WHOOOSH ground rush coming right atcha. If you're lucky you walk away.

Lots of sobering thoughts right now. F'instance, I've probably only got time for two bike rides. A Langster frame will be making the trip with me that I plan to bling to the max with cheap Chinese carbon. But when? Can't see me getting back on two wheels in my new guise as urban fixie rasclot for at least a month. A MONTH. I'll atrophy and then die horribly when I try to ride a bike with NO GEARS. But it will have (two) brakes; I'm not that cool.

Why not ride this weekend I hear you ask. Because her indoors' UK MTB swansong is to enter the Stilettos on Wheels women only (RACISTS) mountain bike race in Brighton next Saturday and guess who's pit bitching. 4 hour solo, which is a long ride for an old woman. From mid week I'll start honing her podium etiquette. So no pressure.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Nailin it on the Stigmata

 Wochenende

It rained all day Saturday, so I drove up to Garmish for a recce of the ski hire places and lifts for when it does actually snow. Then as it got dark, it did start snowing, but it was nasty wet stuff.  As soon as I woke up on Sunday morning I looked out of the window and there was freezing fog to go with it. fecking brrrr.

Understandably it took quite a lot of mental arse kicking to get out to the car and build up the bike. Finally at about 11am I did, got my shit in order and let the rubber hit the road. Having had a good study of the local map, I already knew that there was an excellent network of marked bike routes out there. But the even better news is that it's mostly on deserted country lanes and equally deserted gravelly forest trails. There was even a section along the bank of the river Ammer, which was spookily Merseyeseque, but without the Jodphurs Cafe bacon butty stop. So today's discovery is that it's just perfect for the cross bike out there and the Stig just gobbled it up.  In the end Sally Satnav told me that I'd done just under 65k on a tour de Weilheim circular, and I only headed back when I did because of icy tootsies. I have never regretting going on a bike ride. FACT.  Lookin forward to more of the same sometime soon.




Friday, 9 December 2011

Prost or Prozac?

Frietag

So here I am in south Bavaria where I'll be based for the next two months. I haven't had culture shock like it since Manchester.

I've been put in a decent apartment and guess what, I can see the Alps from my kitchen window. Specifically Zugspitz and Wank mountain (yes really) This morning it was covered in white stuff. I'll probably head up there on Saturday for a stiff walk.

I met my neighbour across the landing shortly after I arrived. I'd just pulled up outside and was starting to unload my shit when he parked across the back of my car and marched towards the front door. I lit up his world with my best smile and said hello. He pointed at my car and said "das ist mein park platz" the sour git.

In between managing to remember to bring all my bike stuff, work stuff, computer stuff and leisure stuff, I forgot to pack any socks or undercrackers, so I went to the supermarkt last night to buy some. The checkout girl was a chunky goth wearing a sweatshirt which said "Drink!, Fuck!, Fight!" Quite a lot of 1 and 3 by the looks of her, not so sure about the no.2... More later.